SECONDHAND NATION

Hair-Raising: Searching for Eco-Conscious School Fundraisers

 

Figure 1:  Time to learn cursive, kids!  Because in another 70 years, everyone will be typing and that swoopy, unreadable script will be just perfect for giving your wrist a mighty, useless cramp.   But it'll be great for writing anonymous poetry-filled, sachet-ridden loveletters.

Because my daughter started kindergarten this year, I decided to stick my big toe in the volunteer pond and go to a PTA meeting. 

Whoa, mama. 

I thought I'd just blend into the woodwork of our super-70's media center and take my notes and get my info and blast outta there. 

Clearly our PTA is short on help.  I made a few comments and bam!  They nominated me for a officer position.  Ho Lee Shit.

Well, it seems I can handle being Secretary - writing being my calling and all - but among some of the to-dos I was given (write bilingual flyer, sort Campbells soup labels, etc.) was to research fundraising that was more ecologically-minded and less consumerist.   

So I google a few things and come up with a couple of ideas. 

There's Greenraising, which is basically the same kinda catalog you pass to your friends and relatives concept;  your loved ones get to choose from a bunch of magazine subscriptions, refrigerator magnets, and quirky kitchen gadgets like Taco Propers.   

Except in the Greenraising catalog,  instead of chili pepper-themed oven mitts and porcelain dolphins jumping over mirrors, you get a slough of SIGG water bottles and gift wrap made from recycled paper.  Great.  My idea of eco-consciousness isn't buying recycled paper gift wrap.  I already have recycled paper giftwrap.  It's called yesterday's newspaper. 

Along these same lines falls One Planet Fundraising, whose clunky-looking Web 1.0-style  site gleefully promises "40% profits!"  in large glaring blue 20 pt font, as well as "KLEEN KANTEEN" water bottles, CFLs, reusable tote bags and...wha?  What was I talking about?  I got all dizzy with the abundance of "K's" in KLEEN KANTEEN and then fell asleep after "totebags." 

Finally, there's Greenspark, which is like an eco-minded Happenings book.   Being that I HATE coupons (all the beggary, pain-in-the-ass fussy clipping fritters away my life, I feel) the less said the better.

Unless my readers can point me to another source, it looks like it's magazine subscriptions and tankards of cookie dough as far as the eye can see around my house this year. 

Photo:   Elementary school children standing and watching teacher write at blackboard, Washington, D.C. by Frances Benjamin Johnston, 1899, via Library of Congress digital collection.

Mobile Abattoirs Coming to a Farm Near You?

Figure 1: Lititz, Pennsylvania. Butchering a steer in Lutz's slaughterhouse by Marjory Collins. Photo via Library of Congress website.

Since I'm a Michael Pollan groupie and think about the Balding & Bespectacled One nearly every day, whether I'm crunching into an Oreo or riding high on a local food bender at my farmer's market, this recent article in the Wall Street Journal provoked me. 

Remember how in The Book, Joel Salatin, the Polyface Farm and grass-fed "beyond organic" farmer, is having problems finding a way to make more money on his meat because of all the bullshit regulations from the USDA concerning slaughtering the animals and butchering them.

Perhaps these mobile abattoirs are the answer to local, small-operations farms that want to provide butchered products direct to the customer without having to build a costly, regulation-minding facility?

Or will these traveling units just spread disease as they go from place to place?  I can't help but wonder what old Michael Pollan or Joel Salatin have to say about this.  I wish one of them would blog already so I can know what's in their minds at any given moment. 

The Biffy of Forest Drive: Can You Recycle Dog Poop?

 

Compost This? has no suggestions.  Neither does its companion site Recycle This?

What's a girl to do when her yard has been designated official rest stop of shitting dogs in the vicinity for the past eleventy years?

When I recognize the poop that comes from my neighbor's ugly Basenji - filled with bits of string and plastic is the main tip-off - I use the plastic bag my newspaper comes in and fling the offending poo over into her yard or front step, usually in an area where my own child will not step on it.

Like, right in front of my door?  Which is where I find dog poop on a regular basis?

But sometimes I get random logs left nearer to the street, which lets me imagine that loose dogs or random walkers-of-dogs are choosing to relieve themselves on my property, using the subtle techniques reserved to ninjas, I'd imagine.  (I'm home alot.  And I'm outside alot.  How am I missing this?)

So, please, recycling-minded, sympathetic readers -  is there any use for dog shit beyond pranks involving flaming bags?  Because I have, so to speak, a shit-ton of it.