SECONDHAND NATION

Thrift Store Employee Burnout, Part I: Recognize the Signs

Figure 1:   Reject clothing, sorted and baled, no doubt, by overworked and underappreciated thrift store employees.

Thrift Store Employee Burnout (TSEB) claims millions of underachieving lives every year.*  It's a tragic cluster of symptoms that can cause individuals to engage in destructive behaviors like drinking head-achey pink wine or paying full retail prices.  In a series of hard-hitting, shocking posts, we'll examine the scourge that is TSEB and offer steps to recognize it, combat it and ultimately, overcome it.

Signs You Have Thrift Store Employee Burnout (TSEB)

1.  When you see bowls of potpourri set out as air freshener, you immediately sniff their contents.

2.  You have bought or seriously contemplated buying food in a discount dollar store.

3.  You can recite all the house brands of Wal-Mart (Ragged Glory, George, Metro 6) J.C. Penneys, (St. John's Bay, MixIt, Worthington) and Herbergers (Relativity, Studio Works).

4.  You have made or tried to make a skirt out of unsold neckties.

5.  Customers chomping on chicken wings while shopping or arguing with a sales clerk starts to seem like a brilliant way to multitask.

6.  The first thing you think when you see an old friend is a) would I recycle her entire outfit for rag scrap?  b)  could I put that purse at $9.99 even if it is a clearly fake Gucci knockoff?

7.  You dream about making garden furniture from broken cross country skis and bowling balls.

8.  You can predict, just by looking at the person who donated a bag of items, whether it will contain a)  fake flowers b) crappily-printed books about Jesus c) stained pillows embroidered with geese wearing sun bonnets   d)  a shaving cream warmer

9.  You are intimately familiar with all of Ron Popeil's products and their relative marketability

10.  You take Claritin every single day, even though you don't have allergies, and still sneeze every time you walk into work.

*Not actual "lives."  "Lives" here refers to joie de vivre, personal satisfaction, ability to find meaning in work and life, et cetera.      

Danger, GoodWill Robinson!

Perhaps you're unaware that Goodwill's online presence has become so successful?

Well, yes.  In part, due to my daily addiction to checking out the newest items that are listed each day.

Sickening!  Thrift shopping is probably even more deadly to financial health than regular retail obsessions, as everything is one-of-a-kind and priced to sell.  In fact, my tenure as an employee at Value Village did lead me to believe that shopping addicts preferred to hit thrift stores, as evidenced by the bags and bags of junk that piled up in their trunks and backseats.  (Not kidding!  We used to carry out larger purchases as a courtesy to customers and the regulars always had a conversion van packed with previous purchases, the receipts and tags still on!  Freeeeeeeky.)

Anyway, don't go there.  You'll be forced to wade through the painfully limited descriptions in the hopes of finding something smashing and dammit, you will find it.  Then you will pay a shitload on shipping and handling fees and when it arrives you'll feel completely ridiculous like the Mayor of Tiny Town. 

But then you'll be the proud of owner of something bitchin like this:   And it'll be all worth it.

Silver Angel Thrift Store

Sometimes, I'm in a real Gimme Gimme mood and I want to sprawl out and waste many hours wandering in Savers or Unique.  That's been my mood lately, since buying our house and having many divergent needs at once.

Other times, I just want to run into a little shop, one with less square footage, where I'm not overwhelmed by either the stuff or the customers.

My favorite shop for that kind of thing is Silver Angel Thrift Store in Minneapolis.

Run by East Side Neighborhood Services, Silver Angel offers you the chance to help people living nearby with your patronage.  Indeed, during one visit, I listened to staff talk with a very thankful community member who expressed many positive sentiments for their help.  Given the surly attitude of staff at places like Ragstock and the thoughtless behavior of some thrift shoppers, that was quite a rare treat for me.

Silver Angel isn't very big, so don't expect a lot of bulky furniture.  But they've really made a wonderful effort to organize their shop in a way that makes the most of their space.  Whatever is going on in the background, you know there are some dedicated volunteers and workers trying to create a friendly environment for shoppers.

Which is really the secret of success for Silver Angel and stores like it (ARC's Value Village is the best example locally) - perhaps the goods are secondhand, but the customers don't get a secondhand experience.  I think understanding that bargain hunters, eco-conscious shoppers and yes, poor people, deserve to have dignified shopping experiences will raise the consciousness of the general public, because then people might realize such shopping can be fun and not the depressing experience it has been historically.   

University of Minnesota ReUse Program

If you haven't heard about this wonderful place, check it out!

Only open to the public on Thursdays from 8:00 am to 5:30 pm, this place is a treasure trove of amazing stuff, in large quantities.  It's where the Husband and I scored my craft storage center for 90 clams:

That thing holds a lotta shiz.  Yarn, scrap paper, glue, pencils, buckets of found junk for my collages!

Once, when I wasn't looking for furniture, I saw beautiful purple conversation sofas, no doubt from dorms that were upgrading.    And don't buy another new file cabinet -- they've got rows and rows of them, in all colors.  Plus, lab tables, medical cabinets, chairs, chairs, chairs, desks, projectors, and tables.  There's also a free shelf full of 3 ring binders.  Another time, my brother-in-law once got into a bidding war with a transvestite over a beautiful floor-to-ceiling bookcase. 

They accept checks, cash and money orders and don't deliver, so be ready to load up your goodies and drive off into the sunset!